Being Featured On Thought Catalog

Yes, you read that right. I am still trying to get over the fact that this happened with me. Of course, it's no big deal, but then you don't really come across such exposure everyday, you know.

Honestly, Thought Catalog is like my guilty pleasure. So yes, it was a little embarrassing to find out that an article was actually published! I was in shock for 5 minutes...and then it struck me. Of course I was happy, of course I was squealing! But within seconds I realized this would mean a whloe lot of negative feedback from ALL OVER THE WORLD! (That's the worst part about the arts..it's so subjective, you are bound to get haters) But it's been 36 hours since the article was published, and I've not got bad reviews *touchwood* (Though there were two who went off on another tangent- something about how I made feminist sound like a bad thing. Lulz, cos I go on to say something on the lines of "to each his own" Oh well, the word I should have used was"humanist" So yeah, my bad too. Someone was kind enough to point that out to me. Anyway, I sincerely hope they got my point)

Also, phew!

*Note- It's been 5 days, I'm guessing the negative comments have started pouring in. I am not surprised. It does hurt to see yourself being misunderstood, and even though you don't want to know it, you end up clicking on the link and reading all that people have to say.....*sigh* Some people,very simply, told me this- you have written something which has been published on an international portal, you are bound to get feedback. Not everyone will agree. You just got to be strong. Don't bother what something someone sitting in a chair in some remote corner of the world has to say about this. This is what you felt, and you wrote it.
And yes, there are those who agree, and I am glad they liked reading it (I get around 20-30 mails everyday from people thanking me for the article) and then there are those who absolutely hated my guts the moment they read the article. To some I might be oblivious, naive, or maybe a plain and simple fool. But I have nothing to prove to anybody. I know where I come from, and that's enough to keep me from changing my stance on the whole thing.

In case you haven't checked Thought Catalog (and don't wish to in the future) here's what I wrote-

20 Generalizations Indian Girls Are Fed Up With

Sometimes life isn’t fair, and though people are opening up to the idea of the “modern woman”, there are a few who judge us incorrectly, especially here in India. I won’t go into a lengthy explanation; once again, I am just trying to prove my point here. It is definitely going to sound feminist, but I assure you, I believe in equality of the sexes. I am just expressing my opinion here.  Not everyone might agree, but you might want to read it.

1. Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she’s of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little.

2. Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn’t want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won’t make any difference.  Let her study while she wants to, okay?

3. Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she’s been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made.

4. Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless.

5. Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn’t mean she is vulnerable and available.

6. Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is “having a good time” with all of them.

7. Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic.

8. Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day.

9. Just because she is ambitious doesn’t mean she isn’t a family person.

10. Just because she doesn’t discuss her plans doesn’t mean she’s clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright?

11. Just because she is outspoken doesn’t mean she is a rebel.

12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.

13. After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don’t make that one weekend party make her look like a she’s a frivolous party-girl without a job.

14. Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It’s how she relaxes, respect that.

15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn’t have company.  Maybe it’s a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that’s how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice, okay?

16. Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she can’t kick ass in military school.

17. Just because she has a tattoo doesn’t mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that’s her way of expression.

18. Just because she doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t mean she won’t make a good wife. Remember when you were just married and cooked chicken curry which was um, a disaster?

19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn’t mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better  than her male counterparts.

20. Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting with you.

Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don’t confine her within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society. Respect that.




In case you do want to check it out, here's the article-

http://thoughtcatalog.com/pea-tea/2014/02/20-generalizations-indian-girls-are-fed-up-with/#iHVTlX2fop5gfvpH.01

Keeping Calm..and drinking Coke. Picture Credits to ze boyfriend. 

<In case there are more of you who decide to get super aggressive about "feminism", do go through the comments, or well, let me clarify-

1. Too angry
2. Too distracted
3. Operating from the space of knowing only those who abuse the power of being feminists.
4. MY BAD. Geddit? MY BAD.


In case you feel some points are applicable to boys as well, I am sure you have a reason for saying so. And I respect that.

In case you feel I am degrading women, well I clearly didn't mean to. This is something that most of my friends have faced, and I am writing out of experience. Coming from an Army background, I have been all over India. And have faced many such issues personally, no matter how progressive the families have been.THAT'S the space I am operating from. In case you don't agree, you are more than welcome to share feedback, but let's not make this a debate. Some experience it, some don't. Let's leave it at that.

Thank you>


Cheers!

#100Happy Days- The Happiness Challenge

This is a wonderful concept, I personally believe. Haven't found many who'd agree with me, but I ain't doing this for them. 

Before I go ahead with this, I'd like you to take out 5 minutes to check out the website:

100happydays.com

Hopefully this means that people will now KNOW the concept, and probably understand the reason why some of us might want to follow it.

It's very easy to be sad in life, extremely easy. Things like not getting your morning coffee can spoil your day. Have you ever stopped to think about how many of these little things have we taken for granted? This challenge is taking me there, one day at a time. Days when I feel nothing has made me happy, I realize we take the word "happy" for granted. We only acknowledge "ecstasy". So yes, my pedicured feet and cup of nesquik have made me happy, and I shall instagram them!

I usually instagram pictures at the end of the day. If in case I do not have any pictures., I do make sure I tweet. End of the day works for me since it gives me time to reflect on all that has happened that day. It sounds cliched, but it does make me realize the importance of the little things that I've taken for granted in life. 

Anyway, here's my journey so far...follow me, and try doing it too. It takes a little time to get used to, but you see the effects soon. 

(The Challenge was accepted on 2 Jan 2014)

Day 1- Nesquik and emails. Comfort zone ^_^

Day 2- An impromptu plan to eat out, and BOY was it good! Tandoori Chicken is very very very under-rated. 

 Waking up to check my phone, only to see that smile. *sigh*
Butterflies in tummy is how each day starts, this can't be restricted to 100 only.  

Day 3- Dad's birthday :)

After a tiring 4 hours at the mall (NEVER shop during sale season, spending 2k extra is WORTH it)
and picking up one lipstick (must control urge to pick up pretty colored expensive lipsticks) and listening to
the younger sister complain about life, in general.  Sister's day out- Day 4.

Day 5 - Another random plan to fulfill butter chicken and appam cravings.

Day 6- Finally remembered his birthday this year. What started off as a quiet dinner turned into a chaotic (yet fun) night. Also, this is the first time I landed up at a house party absolutely un-invited, only to have the whole world I usually try avoiding present there. Highlight of the night- me being the only sober one around (I don't drink), it was fun seeing people surprised by my ability to have fun with people I openly hate, especially when I hadn't even had a sip of alcohol to drink.
High five to me. 

Rambling on about life's little problems, only to see her doze off. She's forgiven, cos she's cute.
Day 7 with le sister.

Day8 - After downloading the NBA 2K14 twice, visiting the post office once, burning the game onto DVDs twice, buying a completely new game, testing it, and finally sending it to le boyfriend. What started off as an annoying task ended up making me feel very um...awww. Cos I'd not do it for anyone, duh. 

Day 9- found a lot of stuff while cleaning my room. This is an airport ticket from 5 June 2013.
Nothing can make me forget the hug and the tears that flowed during that extremely painful goodbye. I choke up looking at it. But yes, it makes me happy. 

Day 10- Successfully managed to pick up things I didn't need. 

Day 11- Nesquik, Pulp Fiction, and Sundays. 

Day 12- Gossiping with le sister. And a little bit of nostalgia. 

Day 13- Food review! Didn't know it at this time, but it's helped me become a biggie in the food bloggers circle in Pune! 

 Day 14- I decided to explore a little more. And I'm happy to say that I'm now learning how to interpret artwork. It's very very interesting. Changes perspective, you know.

Day 15- won them on Twitter. No one can possibly be unhappy around chocolates. 

Day 16- Met these boys after 2 weeks, and it felt like forever. There are a few people you meet who end up being a part of you. These are a few of my peeps. 

Day 17- A day that starts at 3:00pm, followed by coffee and carrot cake, and ends with biryani from Blue Nile. 

Day 17. 

Day 18- Yes, I'm still too excited to put this into words. Review of the Fat Cat's Cafe. And people LOVED it. I'm glad I could share this experience with them ^_^

Day 19- dinner with my peeps! A "Pulp-Fiction" mood followed by complete madness. Also ended up reviewing the place (Mad House Grill) 

Day 19. 

Day 20 - Brain storming session with le sister. My skills had left me impressed. 

 Day 21- my blog post went viral. The post was regarding the defamation of the Indian Army done by the music artiste Delhi Sultanate. I received messages from all over the country, thanking me for standing up for them and not being intimidated by the "bullies" I hadn't expected the post to get that big, but it was overwhelming, nonetheless.

Day 22- friend from the US came down for a visit. What started with dinner and drinks (also got a few free flaming shots from the manager *tee hee*) ended at 2:00am after an eventful night of dancing. Also ended up bumping into people from Mumbai who seemed to recognize me from Twitter, and were in Pune for a few shows. Ah well, felt good :)

Day 23- Was invited for a food review to Taj. Made a whole lot of contacts, and yes, the review was loved by many.
Once again, I was overwhelmed. 

Day 24- Networking. It's important.

Day 25- Kick-started the day with the Republic Day parade on TV. So PROUD of the country and it's defense forces ^_^

Day 26- It finally struck me that maybe it was time I made a few long term decisions. A whole lot of contemplation, lots of mood swings later- I know I am ready. And a little more determined than what I ever was. A new me. Feels good.

 Day 27- 19 hours of non-stop shooting (YES, I BAGGED A *tiny* ROLE IN A MOVIE!!!) Made a whole lot of new and extremely interesting friends. Cant' wait to get my hands on the photographs that were clicked that day.
And suddenly I don't see movies the same way anymore. What we see is MAGIC. What goes behind all the magic is um..organized chaos. 5 takes for one angle, you kidding me? But the difference is seen on screen. Daniel (who has a special nick-name for everyone and calls me sassy) very casually said "we don't know what we are doing, all that we know is we need to do our best. It's automatically transferred on to the screen"


 Oh also, I am apparently not camera conscious! So much happiness!!! Plus the director is a humble and friendly human being, and I know I've made a nice friend ^_^

Day 28- Pedicures make me happy. 

Day 29- Won these on Zomato. Awesome, I know right?

Day 30-

Resisted the temptation to eat something at Fat Cat's Cafe while I sat there for 30 min. I am SO PROUD of my will power right now, I am going to reward myself with an entire cake tomorrow. 

Yeah.

Day 31-

People are selfish, sadistic, and at times extremely ruthless. No one is going to save you, you are in this all alone. If you want to fight, be prepared- NO ONE is going to support you though your struggle.

I don't get angry easily. Yes, it is very easy to tick me off, but anger is something I'd experience once in 6 months. But when I am angry, God save you. No, I will not throw things at you, I will not yell at you, I won't even FIGHT sometimes.Oh, you won't even know I am angry!Anyway point is, when furious, I tend to go mad internally.

So I'm sorry, my patience has been tested. I'm livid, so livid that I can't get myself to EAT. Or SLEEP. I'm going to try and remove the frustration on the treadmill and in the pool. No one can make me feel so UNWANTED and get away with it. Just because I don't want to fight doesn't mean I don't understand what's happening. Why am I making others sound like evil villains? Because they haven't given me a reason to feel otherwise.


What's happy about this day? Well, there's hope. And that some day, the goodness will be returned to me.
What goes around comes around- Karma.


Also, the emotion of hate can only be reserved for someone you love very dearly. When I love, I love.




Day 32- Got a mention in DNA-Pune for going ahead with this challenge. Aww well, I feel famous ^_^

Day 33- Dad's classmate from down to meet him from Australia. Seeing his excitement on meeting a friend after 30 years was more than enough to get us happy high on life. A night full of reminiscing, wine, and oooh, gifts from Australia!! Hello CHOCOLATES!

Day 34- Writing. Writing makes me happy. Wrote a review for Chung Fa, Pune. Well, I write about food only because I want people to share my good experiences with people, and not cos I am getting free food, you know. And the food at Chung Fa is really good! It's sad that so many haven't eaten here. Hence, the review.

Day 35- Got my first real break as a lifestyle blogger. A couple of newspapers have now given me projects, and yes, I have been working on them. It's great news, and yes, I am overjoyed.


Day 36- Another review. Another story. Another mood. Read- nostalgia.

Day 37- Picked up BEAUTIFUL earrings (must stop myself from buying things on pure impulse) Anyway, I also got a free red velvet pastry at my FAVORITE coffee place in Pune, The Fat Cat's Cafe. Oh God bless them, that's all that I can manage to say. #droolmax

Day 38-  An interview of an International DJ. An event to write about. Another surprise invitation to a launch party. Free dark chocolate. Oh this day was EXCELLENT! (Even though friends did cancel out on plans without bothering to inform me beforehand, or coordinating with me to begin with, especially when I had worked out my schedule according to them. *sigh* Shit happens.)

Day 39- It started off on a bad note. Depressing even. Ok I have my days when I absolutely MISS my boyfriend, a little too much for my own good. There is so much to talk about, and all I'd want is to spend some time with him. Ah well, karma. My patience and love shall one day pay off I guess. Anyway, what started off on a depressing note slowly spiraled downwards into self pity and rage. And then I just decided to take my mum and sister out for a chill scene lunch. There's a diner in town- The Brooklyn Shuffle. Not my kinda food, but the mood was such. They had a great time, I personally didn't enjoy much, but well, the evening ended on a good note.
Family. Friends. Love. We take too much for granted.

Day 40- A Monday morning that started at 5:00am (I had a movie shoot at 7, and it was 10 degrees here in the morning, and I FROZE) The shoot went off well, I got back home, caught up on some sleep, and spent the whole evening eating street food cos well, it's  project I have taken up. So right now, I am running a temperature, eating maggi, getting work done, and LOVING it. Writing gives me a high. Working hard, so that I don't have time to think about other depressing stuff (like how I miss him and REALLY need to meet him soon and God to give us SOME SUPPORT cos otherwise He is being super sucky) feels liberating. You know what I mean? :)

Day 41- WRITING. Most of the days, wriitng has made me happy. That's ONE thing I've learnt through this exercise. So yeah, not bad eh? This time I wrote a review for Brooklyn Shuffle (again)

Day 42- #TastyThirty is a brilliant initiative taken by a couple of students who are just passing out from SIMC PG. They wish to promote the top 30 street food joints in Pune. They asked me to help them out with a few places, and I was more than happy to accept the invitation. We visited street food jionts all over MG Road, and I can't wait to go ahead with the second phase of this project. I also wrote about this on the blog. Here's the link-

http://everyshadeofrandom.blogspot.in/2014/02/street-food-pune.html

Day 43- Magnum chocolates has launched in the Indian market, and Pune was one of the few cities that was selected for a launch event. I've covered it in the link given below, do have a look-

http://everyshadeofrandom.blogspot.in/2014/02/mother-of-god-chocolate.html

Day 44- Valentine's Day. Ignoring past hang ups, I decided to be in love today. And there's nothing happier than the feeling of being in love, and fighting for it.

Day 45- This day was about me, myself and I. Cos no one is on their way to save you. Sounds depressing, but once you learn to accept this fact, it's a confidence booster. So yes, for me, this was a day about being my aggressive self. It felt nice, after very very long.
Oh yes, I also wrote :)



Day 46- Brunch. Whites and pinks and the girls and mocktails. I love brunches!! ^_^

Day 47- FINALLY managed to watch Hasee Toh Phasee. If you haven't seen it yet, I suggest you go ahead and do so now. It's the cutest and most refreshing thing you will come across in recent Hindi cinema.


Day 48- An article that I had written in the vaguest of moods(with absolutely no intent of having it published anywhere) gets published on THOUGHT CATALOG. Yes, guilty pleasure, I was caught, and well, excited as well as paranoid. Excited cos it's not everyday that your article gets global recognition. And paranoid because I had NO CLUE what I had written (I am moody that way) plus was sure I could have done a much better job.
As I found out hours after it being published, I had made a goof up in the opening line, which did turn off quite a few people. Well, I do accept my mistake, plus I hadn't even edited the draft I sent to TC, and yes, I must have been high on God alone knows what to have sent it in the first place.
Anyway, peace out women. Peace out.

Also, gossiping with the girls over coffee and cake can't ever be disappointing ^-^









Day 49- I need 50 hours in a day to get through stuff like this. Gym. Work. Brainstorming sessions. Gossiping with the girls. CAKE.Writing. Reviewing. The day started at 6:30am, ended at 1:00am (only to be repeated the next day) But hey guess what, this is FUN. There is so much to do, there is so much to leanr..it's EXCITING.

Day 50- I am halfway through!! This makes me happy to a certain extent, yes it does. Plus a long long day (it's 11:45pm, and I can't see myself going to bed before 1:00am) filled with a whole lot of KICKASS work, meetings, coffee, conversations, and writing. Plus the boyfriend got internet signal for a while, so yes, chatting with him has got me a little high on life again :)

In The Moment

< Fiction>

<Just because it's happening in my head doesn't mean it's not real>

The choice is yours.

Happy reading!

All our lives, we are looking for answers. Will I pass this test, will I get the job, will I get a degree, will I get the dress in my size, will she say yes, will I find true love…the list is never-ending.  It saddens me to see people get so busy trying to find answers, that they forget to live. It’s something that we take for granted, we hardly ever stop to see what’s going on around us, IN THE MOMENT. I gave a couple of interviews today, where a gentleman asked me – “What are you willing to add to the organization? And this might not necessarily be a professional skill” It took me 5 seconds to think about this (which in my world is a lot since I have answers ready before you have asked me the question) and said vaguely- “Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm to live. To enjoy life outside of work. To wake up early every morning and work out. To eat healthy. To be quirky. Yeah, enthusiasm.”  Maybe I was a bit too honest, maybe that’s not what he had in mind, but my intuition tells me I’ve nailed it.

Point being, the interview made me realize I had once again managed to take life for granted, being too over dependent on others for my happiness. Everyone goes through bad phases in their lives, since when had I turned into the depressed weakling who’d stay in bed for days on end because things weren’t going her way?

I’ve been going through a lot of negativity lately. Low-self esteem, rejections, incorrect judgments being made by the society, the works. I did think it had something to do with unemployment. But I’d hardly call myself unemployed. My blog has crossed 10,000 views, my food reviews are doing well, my passion for food is being recognized by industry stalwarts and yes, I’m on a high! So no, this negativity has nothing to do with unemployment.  It’s just…a low phase in life.

I don’t usually express myself, but when I want to, and I can’t- that’s a painful scenario. So here I am, living in the moment-

Getting Inked

Initially I thought tattoos were just another attempt at being cool. A few close friends got inked, and it made me realize that yeah maybe, that really mattered to them! So yes, I respect you for all the tattoos you have on your body, ‘cos I’m assuming you know what they mean and that they really matter to you.  Just another way of expression is how I’d like to see it. So yes,I'm getting inked. A word/ symbol that will always be an outlet. A fierce, yet hidden expression. There are many such words I could think of while speaking to the tattoo artist- faith, perseverance, focus, optimism, karma, respect, fierce. She said she will get back to me in a day. I want this to come out really well, since it’s something that would remind me of that ONE quality that has seen me through some very very tough moments in life.  A word that might only make sense to me- I’m okay with it, as long as it does.

So yes, I’ve thought about it. And I deserve this. The one who figures the meaning and feeling behind the tattoo, deserves me, or so I'd like to believe. 

Writing

I guess the repressed feelings of rage and sadness inspire me to write.  So here I am, writing this instead of a food review. I write because it makes me happy. And seeing people being positively influenced by my writing gives me confidence. So hey, hang in there, do what makes you happy.

Missing Someone Is Healthy

You know the early morning sleepy cuddling that he probably doesn’t know he’s doing but you feel warm and tiny and fit into that nook? And him holding on to your hair while he sleeps, so that you won’t leave his side?  And the hugs where you can’t reach up till his shoulder, instead you settle in to hear his heart beat? And holding his hand only to have it jerked off in surprise since he hates PDA? And stealing his last slice of pizza? And the hug at the airport, where you wished time would freeze?

That.

Fight

For yourself. But if it’s about love, fight for the two of you. 

If you are lucky, once in your lifetime you do come across someone who accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t look at your qualifications, your background, the way you dress up, your weight, none of it. He connects with you on a spiritual level.  So don’t be surprised when he knows the voice in your head, or when he can say what you have in mind,10 seconds BEFORE you’ve thought of it. It sounds impossible, yes, but if it does happen to you, hold onto that magic. And fight for it. He’ll make you vulnerable, hopeless, defenseless, but he will stay there as long as you support him.

So do your thing girl, smile, and spread the joy!

Love

Long distance. 8 months. I can’t even BEGIN to describe how saddening that is. Every time I have to tell someone about him, I choke after saying this. So yes, it’s a relief that people get the point and don’t ask me to explain further.  But it’s been a happy journey. Not too many ups and downs, it’s been a learning process of sorts. If I could use one word (okay two) to describe him, I’d say he’s God-sent. I’ve discovered myself as a person, and I only have him to thank for all the positive changes that have happened in my life.

What sucks is when things are perfect, but something/someone doesn’t let you be. You get what I’m saying? We haven’t had fights, we haven’t been depressed; yes it’s been hard, but it’s also been beautiful. It’s been 18 months, and I still get butterflies thinking about him. It’s magical, yeah.  So it’s not humanly possible to un-feel this, if in case we have to. There are a whole lot of external problems, but we’ll make it through. Right? We have to. I know we do. (I've been told)

  

Settle Down in Life

All my life, I have been a restless soul. I’ve always found it too hard to settle down, in my professional as well as personal life.  After being independent for so long, after going from one place to the other, rejecting one boy after another, I have finally come to a point where I feel I can settle.  But….I can’t. 

Society will Judge

You can’t help it. This is no reason for you to refuse going out. You want to act, go become an actress. You want to write, go become a writer. Why must you be bothered by what people think of you? Shouldn’t they respect your decisions instead of making you sound like Satan? Society will judge, all that you can do is go ahead, make your life, and have a valid justification for all your decisions.

Explore your options

Who said you need to do a desk job just because you have an MBA? Who said you can’t write? Or act? People will always try to put you down- I faced a lot of opposition when I decided to quit my job and explore writing. It’s been 28 days, and I’ve reached places. I’ve also managed to get a small role in a movie! (yeah, me, Captain Klutz) So yeah, go out there and explore your options! The things you will learn during the process will leave you more confident than ever. You will learn from your failures, and you will find your calling.

Go out there, live a little!

The Year That Was- 2013

It’s been so long since I’ve blogged. Can’t believe 2014 is less than 20 days away. January has always been depressing for me. January brings with it a new year, and an end to the old ways. I guess it’s a Taurean quality, resisting change. January is all about leaving everything behind, and waking up to something new.

But something tells me it’s going to be a good year. 2013 was one of the toughest and most liberating years I have ever had. 2013 made me stronger, happier, and I can see things getting better already.

Here is what 2013 was all about- feelings, opinions, events, the works.

1.       Not all problems are bad. Problems are a way of making you stronger. Always remember- at the end of a hurricane, there is always a rainbow. (P.S.- New found love for "Fireworks")

2.       It’s extremely important to be happy, but it’s equally important to be sad. It’s absolutely okay to have that one moment of weakness, and feel the pain. After 2 hours of crying, you come out as a stronger person. True story.

3.       Loss is not always a negative term (weight loss is good, see :P) On a serious note, loss is a part and parcel of life, it helps you appreciate the simple things. 

4.       There is a wish-list for everyone, but there is a reason God doesn’t grant all of our wishes at the same time. It’s his way of encouraging us to hope for more, and that’s what helps keep the passion alive.

5.       Just because she is pretty does not mean she is easy. Just because she wears short skirts doesn’t mean she doesn’t own a salwaar kameez. She likes meeting friends and having a good time, this does not mean she doesn’t appreciate a healthy and normal lifestyle. So stop judging her so much, let her be. Don’t blame her for being young and beautiful. For all you know, she might be a simple girl who loves coffee more than alcohol; is an intelligent girl, a loyal girlfriend, and is not afraid to speak her mind.

6.       It doesn’t matter what people say, cos people will always be judging you no matter what you do. So be confident and do your thing. Don’t wipe the smile off your face..one day people are going to get bored discussing you. Be patient, and stay true to yourself.

7.       Never regret your past. Everything happened for a reason, and it’s made you who you are today. Learn from your mistakes, and appreciate all that happened. Things change and people move on..don’t disrespect others for “Changing”

8.       Just because you are a girl does not mean your only goal in life is to get married to some rich NRI dude, and show him off to society. So what are you trying to show, that you could get a rich boy to marry you and get you expensive gifts and take you to foreign countries whenever you felt like it? Are you really proud of that? Why can't you be proud of HIM, and not just his money? How is showing off his skill and expertise at a job not something cool? Feminist when it comes to career and job, and a traditional “abla naari” when it comes to affairs of marriage and traditions? Boys want to have fun with all the hot chicks, and then marry someone who will sit at home and make food.  And the girls want to be the talk of the town with all their skimpy outfits and firang boyfriends, and when it comes to marriage they will marry anyone who has money, willing to sacrifice the good old life and get the in-laws to believe what a simple girl she is. Why has love been reduced to something this shallow and cheap?

9.       Be patient, stop nagging. Think things through, take a stand, and be confident about it.

10.   Love is not a Mills and Boons story. A perfect love story is never easy- you need to fight for what you love, and nothing worth having is ever easy.  Be loyal, be strong, be supportive. Leave the ego, it’s a relationship and love is a beautiful feeling. Don’t let ego ruin it.

11.   Don’t get married young. Trust me, you are NOT ready for it. Oh unless he is super rich and well yeah, that.  Cos obviously that’s what life is all about to you- refer point 8.

12.   Did she upset you by showing off her boyfriend and how much he misses her and how he meets her every 2 months and how he buys her expensive branded gifts? I can’t believe that actually upset you, you are stronger than that. Hey but if you are as hot headed as I am (another famous Taurean quality), you are allowed to put her down by showing off YOUR achievements, YOUR money, YOUR job. Be patient, karma never misses out on people.  Since this was about boyfriends, yours is way better than hers, both she and you know that. Why be upset then bro, why?

13.   There will come a point in life when someone else’s happiness matters more than yours. And no matter what, you would never want to hurt him/her. When you feel something that selfless, don’t let go.

14.   If someone asks for your help, and refuses to take your advice, only to come back crying when things go wrong, you have all the right to say- I told you so.

15.   It’s very difficult to be friends with an ex.  Mostly because it takes a long time to get used to the fact that someone might not be the same 3 years down the line. One of you moves on faster, and to a much happier place. So when an ex comes up to you and asks you to stop being judgemental and mean, cut him some slack and explain to him your point of view. If he still doesn’t stop pestering you, you have the right to delete him from your life. Simple.

16.   It’s not always easy to delete someone from your life. But go back in time and see what they put you through- see, it got easier, no?

17.   If you are fat, it’s about losing weight to get healthy. Once you are healthy, it’s all about staying fit.

18.   Love is not the most romantic thing in the world, but no matter how bad things get, love is what will keep us hoping. Passion is under-rated. People take things for granted, which is why sometimes the passion is lost.

19.   Airports are depressing, good-byes are painful. And it’s impossible to forget the last time you hugged him goodbye at the airport.

20.   Nostalgia is not always a sad thing. Nothing cures the "missingness" better than his t-shirt he gave you.

21.    Growing up is painful. It makes me sad to think about those times when I held my father’s hand and walked to school, or when my mother used to make my science projects for me, or how I was the over-protective elder sister to a 6 month old baby…. At the end of the day, your family is the only thing that you have. Respect them, and keep them close.

22.   Being a woman is difficult. Life is not about “screw this shit”, “let’s be wild”, “imma be wasted cos we don’t need men to have fun” and all that. There is a family you have to take care of, there is a reputation to maintain. 24 is not an age to act 18. *Indian Society*

23.    EVERYONE will discuss marriage. You will never be good enough , you will never have what it takes to be in the good books of parents, but if given a chance you need to show people that you mean no harm. Indian society after all. People will judge, and people will disappoint you. People who you thought would stand up for you will NOT, people who were once your friends will judge you, misinterpret your every move, and try to put you down. Just because you will fight for someone does not mean he/she will fight for you. So choose carefully, and stick to your decision.

24.    I gave up drinking, I gave up on a lot of people. Surprisingly it felt relieving, but I still don’t know if people who I did this for realized I did this for them. Anyway, I believe in karma ^_^

25.   Don’t under-estimate the magic that is love. He will not respond to everything that you complain about, he will not compliment you day and night…but he will know when something’s bothering you, and he will help you fight it. Sometimes, he might just know you better than you know yourself.

26.   Passion is important. Passion for travel, for love, for food, for money. A whole lot of passion.

27. The kind of friends you keep says a lot about you. Choose wisely.

28. Don't be under pressure to get married cos everyone else around you is settling down. Or because you feel you are in love. Marriage requires a lot of preparation, and there will be a point when you will be ready to settle down. Wait for it, do not hurry up. When the time is right, it will most definitely be the most beautiful thing in the world.

29. Just because he is the center of your universe does not mean you are the center of his. Deal with it. Someday, your patience and loyalty will be appreciated.

30. Aunties will ask you about your marriage plans, and make a big deal when you say " I have JUST about started working, I need to figure out my income scenes first". It's okay, they are going to shut up soon.

31. Many will give you free advice. You will know whose matters. 

32. There will come a point when you will be fed up of standing up for someone without being asked to. Take a step back, and let them see what they took for granted. 

33. When was the last time you made her feel like she mattered?  Just because she is a sport all the time doesn't mean she doesn't need your compliments. When you are proud to be with someone, let him/her know, that's all. 

34. Never ever underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman. 

A whole lot of nostalgia and sadness, but satisfying cos I know I ended this year on a happier note. I was confident, mentally and emotionally stronger, and in love. In the end, it’s all worth it. You need a select few close friends who respect you for who you are. The ones who judge can keep judging, you can either ignore them, or put them down. There are very few in the world who matter, and you will do things to make you happy. As simple as it gets.

It’s been a liberating year, and I can look forward to a happier new year, cos I know it’s gonna be challenging, and that is exactly what I am looking at- challenges. Plus I will be meeting the boyfriend too.  When, we don’t know, but soon.