Being Featured On Thought Catalog

Yes, you read that right. I am still trying to get over the fact that this happened with me. Of course, it's no big deal, but then you don't really come across such exposure everyday, you know.

Honestly, Thought Catalog is like my guilty pleasure. So yes, it was a little embarrassing to find out that an article was actually published! I was in shock for 5 minutes...and then it struck me. Of course I was happy, of course I was squealing! But within seconds I realized this would mean a whloe lot of negative feedback from ALL OVER THE WORLD! (That's the worst part about the arts..it's so subjective, you are bound to get haters) But it's been 36 hours since the article was published, and I've not got bad reviews *touchwood* (Though there were two who went off on another tangent- something about how I made feminist sound like a bad thing. Lulz, cos I go on to say something on the lines of "to each his own" Oh well, the word I should have used was"humanist" So yeah, my bad too. Someone was kind enough to point that out to me. Anyway, I sincerely hope they got my point)

Also, phew!

*Note- It's been 5 days, I'm guessing the negative comments have started pouring in. I am not surprised. It does hurt to see yourself being misunderstood, and even though you don't want to know it, you end up clicking on the link and reading all that people have to say.....*sigh* Some people,very simply, told me this- you have written something which has been published on an international portal, you are bound to get feedback. Not everyone will agree. You just got to be strong. Don't bother what something someone sitting in a chair in some remote corner of the world has to say about this. This is what you felt, and you wrote it.
And yes, there are those who agree, and I am glad they liked reading it (I get around 20-30 mails everyday from people thanking me for the article) and then there are those who absolutely hated my guts the moment they read the article. To some I might be oblivious, naive, or maybe a plain and simple fool. But I have nothing to prove to anybody. I know where I come from, and that's enough to keep me from changing my stance on the whole thing.

In case you haven't checked Thought Catalog (and don't wish to in the future) here's what I wrote-

20 Generalizations Indian Girls Are Fed Up With

Sometimes life isn’t fair, and though people are opening up to the idea of the “modern woman”, there are a few who judge us incorrectly, especially here in India. I won’t go into a lengthy explanation; once again, I am just trying to prove my point here. It is definitely going to sound feminist, but I assure you, I believe in equality of the sexes. I am just expressing my opinion here.  Not everyone might agree, but you might want to read it.

1. Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she’s of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little.

2. Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn’t want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won’t make any difference.  Let her study while she wants to, okay?

3. Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she’s been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made.

4. Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless.

5. Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn’t mean she is vulnerable and available.

6. Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is “having a good time” with all of them.

7. Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic.

8. Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day.

9. Just because she is ambitious doesn’t mean she isn’t a family person.

10. Just because she doesn’t discuss her plans doesn’t mean she’s clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright?

11. Just because she is outspoken doesn’t mean she is a rebel.

12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.

13. After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don’t make that one weekend party make her look like a she’s a frivolous party-girl without a job.

14. Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It’s how she relaxes, respect that.

15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn’t have company.  Maybe it’s a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that’s how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice, okay?

16. Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she can’t kick ass in military school.

17. Just because she has a tattoo doesn’t mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that’s her way of expression.

18. Just because she doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t mean she won’t make a good wife. Remember when you were just married and cooked chicken curry which was um, a disaster?

19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn’t mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better  than her male counterparts.

20. Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting with you.

Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don’t confine her within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society. Respect that.




In case you do want to check it out, here's the article-

http://thoughtcatalog.com/pea-tea/2014/02/20-generalizations-indian-girls-are-fed-up-with/#iHVTlX2fop5gfvpH.01

Keeping Calm..and drinking Coke. Picture Credits to ze boyfriend. 

<In case there are more of you who decide to get super aggressive about "feminism", do go through the comments, or well, let me clarify-

1. Too angry
2. Too distracted
3. Operating from the space of knowing only those who abuse the power of being feminists.
4. MY BAD. Geddit? MY BAD.


In case you feel some points are applicable to boys as well, I am sure you have a reason for saying so. And I respect that.

In case you feel I am degrading women, well I clearly didn't mean to. This is something that most of my friends have faced, and I am writing out of experience. Coming from an Army background, I have been all over India. And have faced many such issues personally, no matter how progressive the families have been.THAT'S the space I am operating from. In case you don't agree, you are more than welcome to share feedback, but let's not make this a debate. Some experience it, some don't. Let's leave it at that.

Thank you>


Cheers!

Djuma Soundsystem at Vivanta by Taj Blue Diamond, Pune.

It’s not every day that you waltz into the suite of an international DJ to take his interview. What was supposed to be a formal interview ended up being a friendly chit-chat over pizza and <healthy> drinks.  We entered the suite and found him lounging around in shorts and a t-shirt, talking to his entourage about lack of sleep and wondering how much time would the interview take. I assured him I won’t take more than 10 minutes (and well, I did not), and quickly proceeded with my questions.

I tend to do a whole lot of background study before I take something up.  So I had already read a couple of interviews of Dj Mikkas, and had found out that he lived in Denmark, and had no musical background. His favorite places to perform are Berlin, and in India he loves the scenes at Goa, Gurgaon,Pune and Bangalore. He finds India a very tough country to please; he enjoys his music and feels as long as his enthusiasm is alive, he does not need to think about competition. And there is no particular type of music he plays, it depends on what the crowd likes, the mood, the atmosphere, everything.

Knowing all the important stuff, I thought I’d get a little casual. It did surprise him a little bit. “Oh, casual…like, what’s my favorite color?”

“You read my mind..that’s exactly what I was going to ask you! So, what is your favorite color? J”

Mikkas <laughs>- Ah well….Black. Black is my favorite color.

This was how the “interaction” started, and by the end of it, we were happily instagramming pictures with each other. Sweet and humble beginnings. 

Me- Where are you from?

Mikkas- I live in Copenhagen, but I am originally from Norway.

Me- How was your childhood like?

Mikkas- Cold. I remember, when we were further north for the first 7 years, the sun wouldn’t set at night.(Midnight Sunset) And it was COLD.

Me- Oh yeah, I know about this. My folks were there for quite some time. Fascinating. 

So, how were you like, as a boy?

Mikkas- oohh *thinking* Um, pretty regular, you know. Just the average school boy I guess. Not much of a loner, no, but I remember I would go for walks alone, thinking about different beats in my head. There was music in my head, lots of it. I started deejaying when I was 14. Yeah, that young.

Me- Why music?

Mikkas- There was so much music in my head, I had to do something about it! I saw it (still do) as a form of expression. I was a movie maker, had my own TV production, but music was what I was meant to be doing.

Me- If not music, what would you be doing?

Mikkas- Ah well, I think I would have been a movie director.

Me- So…why India?

Mikkas- Why not? J It’s difficult to please the audience here, and I love the challenge.  It’s a pain, trying to plan and co-ordinate things here, but once you LAND here, this place opens up a whole lot of opportunities for you! Things magically fall into place once you get here J

Me- How’s it been so far?

Mikkas- Warm. So warm. Back where I come from, it’s freezing cold. This feels nice.

Me- How’s it different, coming here as a tourist, and coming here on business?

Mikkas- I still feel like a tourist. I came to India 20 years ago, as a tourist. I don’t think anything has changed about it.

Me- So, where do you plan to go next, after Pune?

Mikkas- Bangalore.

Me- How was Delhi?

Mikkas- Honestly speaking, I didn’t think it was successful. The crowd comprised of mostly the hotel guests, and the average age was what..60? :/ But hey! I made them dance!!! There was a 60 year old couple going nuts on the dance floor!

We performed at another club, where yes, they had a younger crowd, almost 200-300 of them, but people were rowdy!

Me- So, what should we expect tonight?

Mikkas- ah well, let’s see. I play what the crowd wants. I start with my slow tracks, but I have noticed Indians prefer the loud, pumped up beats. So I will gradually move on to that later. I don’t force my music, I want people to feel comfortable.

Me- Last one! What’s your favorite food here? J

Mikkas- Oh, food! Um, I like the fish curry in Goa, and the breakfasts. I like Dosas!!

And on that hungry note, we concluded the interview, and headed down to the pool side for some coffee and snacks.

At the table, we ended up discussing random things, like party hopping in Goa, Goa trance parties, hitchhiking, the brilliant hospitality at the hotels, the view from the room,the works. Mikkas is a humble guy, who smiles at everyone, orders his beet root and carrot juice, sips on it quietly while instagramming pictures, and is a very very good listener. He is an international music artiste, but on a personal level, he is just one of us. And his entourage had so many interesting stories to tell us (we discussed mobile phones, telephones back in the 90s,vegetable shopping, and typical Indian bringing up at lengths) that we didn’t realize it had been 2 hours already.  I even forgot to complain about my Oreo Shake being too milky (I had expected chocolate!)

We were back at Vivanta at 7:15pm, where the opening DJ had just started spinning out his tunes. The energy was kicking in, and it felt positive. We found a table at the back, and started gossiping like little girls having met after so long (Girls. There’s so much to discuss) The place filled up by 8:30pm, Mikkas had just started his act, and was playing soothing beats. After a certain while, we couldn’t help but join the guys in the front- the music was energetic, the pulse was loud, the lights and beats were perfectly synchronized, the atmosphere was trippy, and the crowd was getting into the flow of things. Mikkas himself was energetically jumping around, moving along to the beats- one would never think the man up there had got only 4 hours of sleep the previous night. The passion was seen, right there.

And the night was GOOD. This is the kind of music that gets you high and moving, without any alcohol. Yeah, that good. Never saw a dull moment or a drop in the energy levels till the end. By the end of it, a little girl (she was 4) was dancing along to Mikkas’ music. Brilliant energy, a whole lot of passion, and it was all reflected in the music. A brilliant night, after ages! Haven’t seen this scene around in Pune, no I haven’t.

Honestly, I would love it if he came here again. The only down side to the event was the food. There were 2 options available in both veg and non veg, and a little too over-priced. But I doubt that mattered to anyone, almost EVERYONE was on the floor, dancing.

So yeah, I made new friends, experienced new music, and once again gained new insights into a completely new industry. It was a good exposure, and I know for sure, there will be more to come.

In The Moment

< Fiction>

<Just because it's happening in my head doesn't mean it's not real>

The choice is yours.

Happy reading!

All our lives, we are looking for answers. Will I pass this test, will I get the job, will I get a degree, will I get the dress in my size, will she say yes, will I find true love…the list is never-ending.  It saddens me to see people get so busy trying to find answers, that they forget to live. It’s something that we take for granted, we hardly ever stop to see what’s going on around us, IN THE MOMENT. I gave a couple of interviews today, where a gentleman asked me – “What are you willing to add to the organization? And this might not necessarily be a professional skill” It took me 5 seconds to think about this (which in my world is a lot since I have answers ready before you have asked me the question) and said vaguely- “Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm to live. To enjoy life outside of work. To wake up early every morning and work out. To eat healthy. To be quirky. Yeah, enthusiasm.”  Maybe I was a bit too honest, maybe that’s not what he had in mind, but my intuition tells me I’ve nailed it.

Point being, the interview made me realize I had once again managed to take life for granted, being too over dependent on others for my happiness. Everyone goes through bad phases in their lives, since when had I turned into the depressed weakling who’d stay in bed for days on end because things weren’t going her way?

I’ve been going through a lot of negativity lately. Low-self esteem, rejections, incorrect judgments being made by the society, the works. I did think it had something to do with unemployment. But I’d hardly call myself unemployed. My blog has crossed 10,000 views, my food reviews are doing well, my passion for food is being recognized by industry stalwarts and yes, I’m on a high! So no, this negativity has nothing to do with unemployment.  It’s just…a low phase in life.

I don’t usually express myself, but when I want to, and I can’t- that’s a painful scenario. So here I am, living in the moment-

Getting Inked

Initially I thought tattoos were just another attempt at being cool. A few close friends got inked, and it made me realize that yeah maybe, that really mattered to them! So yes, I respect you for all the tattoos you have on your body, ‘cos I’m assuming you know what they mean and that they really matter to you.  Just another way of expression is how I’d like to see it. So yes,I'm getting inked. A word/ symbol that will always be an outlet. A fierce, yet hidden expression. There are many such words I could think of while speaking to the tattoo artist- faith, perseverance, focus, optimism, karma, respect, fierce. She said she will get back to me in a day. I want this to come out really well, since it’s something that would remind me of that ONE quality that has seen me through some very very tough moments in life.  A word that might only make sense to me- I’m okay with it, as long as it does.

So yes, I’ve thought about it. And I deserve this. The one who figures the meaning and feeling behind the tattoo, deserves me, or so I'd like to believe. 

Writing

I guess the repressed feelings of rage and sadness inspire me to write.  So here I am, writing this instead of a food review. I write because it makes me happy. And seeing people being positively influenced by my writing gives me confidence. So hey, hang in there, do what makes you happy.

Missing Someone Is Healthy

You know the early morning sleepy cuddling that he probably doesn’t know he’s doing but you feel warm and tiny and fit into that nook? And him holding on to your hair while he sleeps, so that you won’t leave his side?  And the hugs where you can’t reach up till his shoulder, instead you settle in to hear his heart beat? And holding his hand only to have it jerked off in surprise since he hates PDA? And stealing his last slice of pizza? And the hug at the airport, where you wished time would freeze?

That.

Fight

For yourself. But if it’s about love, fight for the two of you. 

If you are lucky, once in your lifetime you do come across someone who accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t look at your qualifications, your background, the way you dress up, your weight, none of it. He connects with you on a spiritual level.  So don’t be surprised when he knows the voice in your head, or when he can say what you have in mind,10 seconds BEFORE you’ve thought of it. It sounds impossible, yes, but if it does happen to you, hold onto that magic. And fight for it. He’ll make you vulnerable, hopeless, defenseless, but he will stay there as long as you support him.

So do your thing girl, smile, and spread the joy!

Love

Long distance. 8 months. I can’t even BEGIN to describe how saddening that is. Every time I have to tell someone about him, I choke after saying this. So yes, it’s a relief that people get the point and don’t ask me to explain further.  But it’s been a happy journey. Not too many ups and downs, it’s been a learning process of sorts. If I could use one word (okay two) to describe him, I’d say he’s God-sent. I’ve discovered myself as a person, and I only have him to thank for all the positive changes that have happened in my life.

What sucks is when things are perfect, but something/someone doesn’t let you be. You get what I’m saying? We haven’t had fights, we haven’t been depressed; yes it’s been hard, but it’s also been beautiful. It’s been 18 months, and I still get butterflies thinking about him. It’s magical, yeah.  So it’s not humanly possible to un-feel this, if in case we have to. There are a whole lot of external problems, but we’ll make it through. Right? We have to. I know we do. (I've been told)

  

Settle Down in Life

All my life, I have been a restless soul. I’ve always found it too hard to settle down, in my professional as well as personal life.  After being independent for so long, after going from one place to the other, rejecting one boy after another, I have finally come to a point where I feel I can settle.  But….I can’t. 

Society will Judge

You can’t help it. This is no reason for you to refuse going out. You want to act, go become an actress. You want to write, go become a writer. Why must you be bothered by what people think of you? Shouldn’t they respect your decisions instead of making you sound like Satan? Society will judge, all that you can do is go ahead, make your life, and have a valid justification for all your decisions.

Explore your options

Who said you need to do a desk job just because you have an MBA? Who said you can’t write? Or act? People will always try to put you down- I faced a lot of opposition when I decided to quit my job and explore writing. It’s been 28 days, and I’ve reached places. I’ve also managed to get a small role in a movie! (yeah, me, Captain Klutz) So yeah, go out there and explore your options! The things you will learn during the process will leave you more confident than ever. You will learn from your failures, and you will find your calling.

Go out there, live a little!

December Drab

December and January are the toughest months of the year for me. It’s the most depressing time in the entire year. Reminiscing good times spent during the year, and wary of what the next year might have to offer…the wave of depression usually hits during Christmas, and ends sometime during Valentines. So yeah, Merry Christmas. 

Resolutions? NAH. Instead, I would continue evolving in this journey called life.  Change things that should be changed, that’s all. People make me hate my self for sounding this ancient, but at the end of the day I enjoy this. People who think I am too uncool to be seen around with, well, they could go fly kites for all I care. I enjoy being who I am, let it be this way no?

So yeah, you guessed it right. It’s a depressing phase right now. So many thoughts, so much to feel..it’s kind of overwhelming.  I don’t know where to start from, it’s all so muddled up. So I am going to note down my feelings here, and hopefully feel better by the end of it.

1.       3 days to go before my last day at my office. I would be relieved, yes, but it’s like shifting out of my comfort zone. And it disturbs me. Work isn’t only about “work”, it includes a lot of memories from my personal life too- those good old times when I used to leave work early to meet the boyfriend, the times when  I reached work early so that I could leave early, the times I spent talking to the boyfriend on the phone, lunch breaks, tea breaks, and the wonderful friends that I made there. I know I will move on, but letting go is a sad process.

2.       The year is ending. So much has happened in  this year (refer previous blog post) I have learnt so much, evolved so much, it’s scary stepping into 2014, not knowing what comes next.  All that I know is life will only get more serious henceforth.  I am fine with THAT, it’s just the uncertainty that scares me.

3.       All of a sudden I go through this phase of self-introspection every year end.  Currently, I feel mature and evolved and all of that, but also a little bit disappointed in myself. Disappointed ‘cos I did not say things that I wanted to when the time was right, disappointed cos I couldn’t tell people what they mean to me, disappointed cos maybe sometimes I was a bit too harsh, disappointed cos yes I have been very judgemental.  I don’t regret anything, I learn from my mistakes, but maybe sometimes things don’t work out right away, cos something bigger and better is coming up in the future. Maybe.

4.       I hate myself for being too optimistic. Agreed, it helps a lot of other people, but it KILLS ME. And I doubt there is anyone around me who knows how pessimistic I could get.  Maybe sometimes, I need to let my guard down and show people how weak I could be.  Maybe.

5.       People tend to like me cos I am a sport.  And I am not going to change that.

6.       Is there a God up there? Really? If there is, why hasn’t he had some pity on me? Why hasn’t he seen how strong I have been, why couldn’t he have let this year end on a good note? Eh? Why? I really don’t have all the time in the world to feel sorry for myself, that’s another level of loser. So yeah, Dear God, do something. SOON.

7.       I have made a very very special friend this year. He taught me how to trust again. He taught me how to stay strong, mentally and physically. I could have been in awe of him, but he has always made me feel like an equal. No one has ever inspired me the way he has. Nostalgia is not always a sad thing- the most important thing he has made me realize (I used to be prone to mood swings and depression once upon a time.) And the way he reads my mind- if that’s not magic, I don’t know what is. And because God couldn’t create anything perfect, he put him 3000km away. Well played God, well played.

8.       2 people (close to me) have told me how judgemental I have become over the last 1 year. Got me thinking, yes it did.  But someone said one simple thing, and made things all right- if you are judging them for stereotyping you, I don’t think it’s your fault” God bless this woman. She’s made me feel a lot better already.

9.       One more very important thing that I MUST keep in mind- never compare yourself to others. The grass is always greener on the other side.  Have patience, and you shall be rewarded. Or so I hope. 

10.   If someone wants to be your friend, he/she will make an effort, even after you hurt them. Yeah, friends do that, I realized that this year. Keep them close. Others who “promised to be there” but ignore you on the sidewalk while you are weeping, well, they can go to hell.

11.   Life is too short. People die. I don’t want people to die. Also, make an effort to stay healthy people. 

12.   It’s been 7 months since he has gone. I am sure he misses me too, but is too macho to show it. So on behalf of both of us, Dear God, if you exist, PROVE IT.

Yeah so the above 11 points will keep me preoccupied for the next 6 weeks. So by then, hopefully I have something awesome to look forward to.