Being Featured On Thought Catalog

Yes, you read that right. I am still trying to get over the fact that this happened with me. Of course, it's no big deal, but then you don't really come across such exposure everyday, you know.

Honestly, Thought Catalog is like my guilty pleasure. So yes, it was a little embarrassing to find out that an article was actually published! I was in shock for 5 minutes...and then it struck me. Of course I was happy, of course I was squealing! But within seconds I realized this would mean a whloe lot of negative feedback from ALL OVER THE WORLD! (That's the worst part about the arts..it's so subjective, you are bound to get haters) But it's been 36 hours since the article was published, and I've not got bad reviews *touchwood* (Though there were two who went off on another tangent- something about how I made feminist sound like a bad thing. Lulz, cos I go on to say something on the lines of "to each his own" Oh well, the word I should have used was"humanist" So yeah, my bad too. Someone was kind enough to point that out to me. Anyway, I sincerely hope they got my point)

Also, phew!

*Note- It's been 5 days, I'm guessing the negative comments have started pouring in. I am not surprised. It does hurt to see yourself being misunderstood, and even though you don't want to know it, you end up clicking on the link and reading all that people have to say.....*sigh* Some people,very simply, told me this- you have written something which has been published on an international portal, you are bound to get feedback. Not everyone will agree. You just got to be strong. Don't bother what something someone sitting in a chair in some remote corner of the world has to say about this. This is what you felt, and you wrote it.
And yes, there are those who agree, and I am glad they liked reading it (I get around 20-30 mails everyday from people thanking me for the article) and then there are those who absolutely hated my guts the moment they read the article. To some I might be oblivious, naive, or maybe a plain and simple fool. But I have nothing to prove to anybody. I know where I come from, and that's enough to keep me from changing my stance on the whole thing.

In case you haven't checked Thought Catalog (and don't wish to in the future) here's what I wrote-

20 Generalizations Indian Girls Are Fed Up With

Sometimes life isn’t fair, and though people are opening up to the idea of the “modern woman”, there are a few who judge us incorrectly, especially here in India. I won’t go into a lengthy explanation; once again, I am just trying to prove my point here. It is definitely going to sound feminist, but I assure you, I believe in equality of the sexes. I am just expressing my opinion here.  Not everyone might agree, but you might want to read it.

1. Not every girl wants to get married by 23. So before you ASSUME she’s of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans for herself right now, let her live a little.

2. Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn’t want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won’t make any difference.  Let her study while she wants to, okay?

3. Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she’s been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made.

4. Having a boyfriend does not make her characterless.

5. Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn’t mean she is vulnerable and available.

6. Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is “having a good time” with all of them.

7. Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic.

8. Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day.

9. Just because she is ambitious doesn’t mean she isn’t a family person.

10. Just because she doesn’t discuss her plans doesn’t mean she’s clueless about life. Give her a chance, alright?

11. Just because she is outspoken doesn’t mean she is a rebel.

12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues.

13. After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don’t make that one weekend party make her look like a she’s a frivolous party-girl without a job.

14. Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It’s how she relaxes, respect that.

15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn’t have company.  Maybe it’s a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that’s how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice, okay?

16. Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she can’t kick ass in military school.

17. Just because she has a tattoo doesn’t mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that’s her way of expression.

18. Just because she doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t mean she won’t make a good wife. Remember when you were just married and cooked chicken curry which was um, a disaster?

19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn’t mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better  than her male counterparts.

20. Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting with you.

Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don’t confine her within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society. Respect that.




In case you do want to check it out, here's the article-

http://thoughtcatalog.com/pea-tea/2014/02/20-generalizations-indian-girls-are-fed-up-with/#iHVTlX2fop5gfvpH.01

Keeping Calm..and drinking Coke. Picture Credits to ze boyfriend. 

<In case there are more of you who decide to get super aggressive about "feminism", do go through the comments, or well, let me clarify-

1. Too angry
2. Too distracted
3. Operating from the space of knowing only those who abuse the power of being feminists.
4. MY BAD. Geddit? MY BAD.


In case you feel some points are applicable to boys as well, I am sure you have a reason for saying so. And I respect that.

In case you feel I am degrading women, well I clearly didn't mean to. This is something that most of my friends have faced, and I am writing out of experience. Coming from an Army background, I have been all over India. And have faced many such issues personally, no matter how progressive the families have been.THAT'S the space I am operating from. In case you don't agree, you are more than welcome to share feedback, but let's not make this a debate. Some experience it, some don't. Let's leave it at that.

Thank you>


Cheers!

In The Moment

< Fiction>

<Just because it's happening in my head doesn't mean it's not real>

The choice is yours.

Happy reading!

All our lives, we are looking for answers. Will I pass this test, will I get the job, will I get a degree, will I get the dress in my size, will she say yes, will I find true love…the list is never-ending.  It saddens me to see people get so busy trying to find answers, that they forget to live. It’s something that we take for granted, we hardly ever stop to see what’s going on around us, IN THE MOMENT. I gave a couple of interviews today, where a gentleman asked me – “What are you willing to add to the organization? And this might not necessarily be a professional skill” It took me 5 seconds to think about this (which in my world is a lot since I have answers ready before you have asked me the question) and said vaguely- “Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm to live. To enjoy life outside of work. To wake up early every morning and work out. To eat healthy. To be quirky. Yeah, enthusiasm.”  Maybe I was a bit too honest, maybe that’s not what he had in mind, but my intuition tells me I’ve nailed it.

Point being, the interview made me realize I had once again managed to take life for granted, being too over dependent on others for my happiness. Everyone goes through bad phases in their lives, since when had I turned into the depressed weakling who’d stay in bed for days on end because things weren’t going her way?

I’ve been going through a lot of negativity lately. Low-self esteem, rejections, incorrect judgments being made by the society, the works. I did think it had something to do with unemployment. But I’d hardly call myself unemployed. My blog has crossed 10,000 views, my food reviews are doing well, my passion for food is being recognized by industry stalwarts and yes, I’m on a high! So no, this negativity has nothing to do with unemployment.  It’s just…a low phase in life.

I don’t usually express myself, but when I want to, and I can’t- that’s a painful scenario. So here I am, living in the moment-

Getting Inked

Initially I thought tattoos were just another attempt at being cool. A few close friends got inked, and it made me realize that yeah maybe, that really mattered to them! So yes, I respect you for all the tattoos you have on your body, ‘cos I’m assuming you know what they mean and that they really matter to you.  Just another way of expression is how I’d like to see it. So yes,I'm getting inked. A word/ symbol that will always be an outlet. A fierce, yet hidden expression. There are many such words I could think of while speaking to the tattoo artist- faith, perseverance, focus, optimism, karma, respect, fierce. She said she will get back to me in a day. I want this to come out really well, since it’s something that would remind me of that ONE quality that has seen me through some very very tough moments in life.  A word that might only make sense to me- I’m okay with it, as long as it does.

So yes, I’ve thought about it. And I deserve this. The one who figures the meaning and feeling behind the tattoo, deserves me, or so I'd like to believe. 

Writing

I guess the repressed feelings of rage and sadness inspire me to write.  So here I am, writing this instead of a food review. I write because it makes me happy. And seeing people being positively influenced by my writing gives me confidence. So hey, hang in there, do what makes you happy.

Missing Someone Is Healthy

You know the early morning sleepy cuddling that he probably doesn’t know he’s doing but you feel warm and tiny and fit into that nook? And him holding on to your hair while he sleeps, so that you won’t leave his side?  And the hugs where you can’t reach up till his shoulder, instead you settle in to hear his heart beat? And holding his hand only to have it jerked off in surprise since he hates PDA? And stealing his last slice of pizza? And the hug at the airport, where you wished time would freeze?

That.

Fight

For yourself. But if it’s about love, fight for the two of you. 

If you are lucky, once in your lifetime you do come across someone who accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t look at your qualifications, your background, the way you dress up, your weight, none of it. He connects with you on a spiritual level.  So don’t be surprised when he knows the voice in your head, or when he can say what you have in mind,10 seconds BEFORE you’ve thought of it. It sounds impossible, yes, but if it does happen to you, hold onto that magic. And fight for it. He’ll make you vulnerable, hopeless, defenseless, but he will stay there as long as you support him.

So do your thing girl, smile, and spread the joy!

Love

Long distance. 8 months. I can’t even BEGIN to describe how saddening that is. Every time I have to tell someone about him, I choke after saying this. So yes, it’s a relief that people get the point and don’t ask me to explain further.  But it’s been a happy journey. Not too many ups and downs, it’s been a learning process of sorts. If I could use one word (okay two) to describe him, I’d say he’s God-sent. I’ve discovered myself as a person, and I only have him to thank for all the positive changes that have happened in my life.

What sucks is when things are perfect, but something/someone doesn’t let you be. You get what I’m saying? We haven’t had fights, we haven’t been depressed; yes it’s been hard, but it’s also been beautiful. It’s been 18 months, and I still get butterflies thinking about him. It’s magical, yeah.  So it’s not humanly possible to un-feel this, if in case we have to. There are a whole lot of external problems, but we’ll make it through. Right? We have to. I know we do. (I've been told)

  

Settle Down in Life

All my life, I have been a restless soul. I’ve always found it too hard to settle down, in my professional as well as personal life.  After being independent for so long, after going from one place to the other, rejecting one boy after another, I have finally come to a point where I feel I can settle.  But….I can’t. 

Society will Judge

You can’t help it. This is no reason for you to refuse going out. You want to act, go become an actress. You want to write, go become a writer. Why must you be bothered by what people think of you? Shouldn’t they respect your decisions instead of making you sound like Satan? Society will judge, all that you can do is go ahead, make your life, and have a valid justification for all your decisions.

Explore your options

Who said you need to do a desk job just because you have an MBA? Who said you can’t write? Or act? People will always try to put you down- I faced a lot of opposition when I decided to quit my job and explore writing. It’s been 28 days, and I’ve reached places. I’ve also managed to get a small role in a movie! (yeah, me, Captain Klutz) So yeah, go out there and explore your options! The things you will learn during the process will leave you more confident than ever. You will learn from your failures, and you will find your calling.

Go out there, live a little!